


what your smile means to me

by iwriteweirdshit



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: (at first), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, One-Sided Attraction, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 15:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15027254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwriteweirdshit/pseuds/iwriteweirdshit
Summary: Misaki blinked. For someone who considered Misaki an acquaintance, Kokoro sure was trusting of her. But maybe that was just in her nature. Heartbreak, loss, loneliness, anger, emptiness… these were emotions that Misaki had never seen Kokoro Tsurumaki express. Sometimes she wondered if it was all just a facade; if there was another Kokoro underneath all of the sunshine and glitter. But she didn’t think so. Kokoro, the Kokoro she knew, was so wholehearted and genuine about the whole ordeal that it would be hard to believe she was faking.In which Misaki Okusawa is tired of being forgotten; and Kokoro Tsurumaki is tired of going on adventures alone.Multichapter.





	what your smile means to me

**Author's Note:**

> i remade my ao3 account to post this and im really proud of the plot i have going for it so please enjoy. i got the idea for this fic because despite misakoko being one of the most popular bandori ships, there isnt a lot of content that depicts them as they are in canon?? so i set out to change that.

Band practice was nearing its final stretch, and Hello Happy World was just about ready to pack up their instruments. The skies outside were clear, the sun was hot, and Kokoro was getting stir-crazy. She had been pacing the room with her microphone for the last thirty minutes, and now, she was trying to walk on her hands. Perhaps Kokoro’s desire for entertainment was where the problems arose.

“Maybe we should call it a day,” Misaki said, her eyes flickering over Kokoro, who was currently staring out the window, her palms firmly planted on the sill. Kokoro turned, eyes focused on the DJ with a determined stare.

“No way! I mean, after all, Michelle hasn’t even showed up yet! We can’t have practice without her!” Kokoro said, pouting. 

“Michelle is here because I am Michelle. Anyway, do you want to continue practice or not? I’m sure you’re dying to go outside on a day like today.” Misaki said. She would have put the Michelle costume on just to ease Kokoro’s worries, but in this kind of heat, it was a recipe for disaster.

“Huh? I just don’t want Michelle to miss practice, I guess.” Kokoro shrugged, not taking her eyes off the window. 

_There was just no getting through to her…_ Misaki sighed. “Well, just think of this as me filling in for ‘Michelle,’ I guess.”

“But Michelle is the guardian angel of Hello Happy World! She’s irreplaceable!” Kokoro said, throwing her arms up in the air. 

“Um…” Kanon spoke up from across the room, and Misaki exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “You shouldn’t ask Misaki to wear that costume… every time we perform, you know. It just isn’t fair to her…”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Why don’t we, uh, get some fresh air?” Kanon asked, and without further ado, led the pair outside before any further tension could build. The three of them burst out the doors into the sunshine with the rest of the band trailing behind. Newly invigorated by the light of day, they made their way down the street.

The sun was even more unbearable now that Misaki was in its direct line of fire. It was white-hot, and coated the streets in a muggy haze. Misaki felt her exhaustion multiply, but followed the group, trying not to lag behind. The rest of the group was talking and laughing amongst themselves, ignoring the heat of the sun and the asphalt and the air and the atmosphere. Despite the climate, it was peaceful. Kanon had the right idea to bring everyone out here. 

A little ways down the street, Misaki noticed a small stand painted in cheerful colors, with bright red lettering. ‘ICE CREAM,’ it said, on the front of the stand and on a display sign to the right. Knowing Kokoro, she could tell the group would make a detour. However, Hagumi spotted it first.

“Ohh, ice cream! Guys, can we go?”

“Ah! That’s… a good idea, Hagumi!” Kanon said. However, her words never registered. Kokoro and Hagumi were already racing each other to the stand. Misaki sighed and followed, at a brisk walking pace.

As soon as the group reached the stand, Kokoro had already bought ice cream for everyone. She was handing it out, beaming as her friends took their share.

“I didn’t know what everyone liked, so I just got everyone a little bit of everything! Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, rocky road, pineapple, and cotton candy, with rainbow sprinkles! It’s sure to put a smile on anyone’s face! Dig in!”

“Um… thank you, Kokoro!” Kanon said. Misaki detected a trace of uneasiness in her tone, one that Kokoro clearly didn’t pick up on. It was a thoughtful gesture, after all, but the ice cream itself was a little over-the-top. But clearly, Hagumi and Kaoru had no issues with it.

“How splendid, Kokoro! Truly fit for a princess such as yourself!” Kaoru announced.

“Thanks!” Kokoro said. There was ice cream around her mouth, and Misaki got the sudden urge to take a napkin and wipe it off. She instantly winced at the thought. Maybe the years of taking care of her younger sister had given her weird maternal instincts. Kaoru must have gotten the same idea, because as Misaki watched, she took her thumb and wiped it along the smaller girl’s lower lip. 

_Gross_ , Misaki thought, watching Kokoro’s expression. Misaki must have been the only one in the band immune to Kaoru’s flirting, because despite Kokoro’s obliviousness, there was a clear hint of pink on her cheeks. 

She felt something cold dripping down between her fingers. Ice cream. It was melting in her hands. While Kokoro was distracted, she looked around for a trash can. She located one next to the ice cream stand and discreetly trashed the cone, then wiped her sticky fingers off with some napkins. Looking around, she noticed Kanon’s eyes on her. She felt her face heat up in shame, but at least it was only her who saw. Maybe now would be a good time to let Kanon know she was heading home for the night. She took a step towards her, but didn’t make it any further before she heard a voice behind her.

“Hey, Michelle’s friend!” Misaki froze. Kokoro. She turned.

“Oh, uh, hey. What is it?”

“Sorry about earlier. I think I really did need to get out of that stuffy room after all! So thank you!”

“Thank Kanon, not me. She was the one who brought us out in the first place,” Misaki said.

“You’re totally right!” Kokoro said, then, raising her voice, “Thank you, Kanon!”

Misaki glanced at Kanon, who looked startled, nearly dropping her ice cream. “That… was pretty loud, Kokoro.”

“Oh! Right!” Kokoro said, then, at the same decibel, she shouted, “Sorry, Kanon!”

“That… wasn’t any better.”

“My bad. Oh! I know it’s weird to ask this, but what was your name again?” Kokoro asked.

“You don’t remember? We’ve been in the band together for how long?” Misaki said.

“I know it started with an N… or maybe a Q…” Kokoro put her forefinger to her lower lip. There was still a bit of ice cream smudged there that Kaoru had missed.

“It’s Misaki. Misaki Okusawa. Please try to remember it this time,” Misaki said. 

“Okay!” Kokoro said, turning around and skipping back over to where Kaoru stood. Misaki watched them chatter aimlessly about something for a few moments, then turned around and headed home.

\---

“I don’t like it, Kanon.”

Misaki set her chopsticks to the side, gazing down at the upperclassman with a defeated look. Lunch was drawing to a close, and the pair had chosen to eat outside to get away from the crowd. Misaki and Kanon were in different grades, but they gravitated towards each other ever since they had been roped into Kokoro’s band. Lunch was now a time for them to mutually vent about whatever Kokoro and the rest of the crew were planning next. 

“You don’t like what?” Kanon said in response. Misaki watched as she took a bite of a tomato, chewing thoughtfully. 

“Being ignored. I mean, Kokoro’s got a good memory, right? And she doesn’t dislike people. And she likes me when I’m Michelle. I don’t get why she’d just forget me.” Misaki heaved a sigh. “I mean, we’ve been working together for months now. Even if her memory really is that bad, you’d think she’d be a little bit better at picking up on things.”

“I think, uh…” Kanon played with the sleeve of her shirt. “Maybe she’s just bad with names?”

“She remembered your name though.” Misaki finished off her soda. “She told me it’s because I’m so negative, but… I think I’m just being normal. Like, I don’t get it… how is she able to be that happy all the time?”

“I don’t know,” Kanon said. “Well, ah, Kokoro’s got a different outlook than the rest of us, I think. She’s - she’s always trying to do something fun. Maybe she just doesn’t like normal.”

“Well, if she doesn’t like normal…” Frustration colored Misaki’s expression, before her eyes lit up. “You know, that might be it!”

“Wh- what might be it?!” Kanon asked, alarm evident in her quiet voice. 

“I always tried to make Kokoro see things from my perspective, but I never tried to do things on her terms! Maybe if I tried doing things Kokoro’s way for awhile, she’d notice me!”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” From the look of concentration on Kanon’s face, Misaki could tell she was deliberating hard on this snap decision.

“Well, it’s worth a shot, right? I mean, it’s Kokoro. What’s the worst that could happen?”

\--

After school the next day, Misaki was tired, but she shook off the growing feelings of exhaustion. Her bike was parked right next to the vending machine, where she left it. She knelt, undoing the lock, but before she hopped onto the seat, she took out her change purse.  
Kokoro may have selective memory loss when it came to Misaki, but Misaki knew all sorts of things about Kokoro. For example, the specific brand of strawberry soda she liked to drink. She selected it now, feeding change into the machine to purchase it, and caught it when it rolled out of the bottom. She purchased a can of melon cream soda as well, then tossed both cans into her backpack and started pedaling.

Kokoro’s mansion wasn’t too far away. She could see its roof poking over the trees as she got closer, and if she wasn’t focusing on the road, she would’ve craned her neck to get a better view. She’d only been there a small handful of times with the band, but it was pretty spectacular. _To think that Kokoro has lived there every day of her life..._

She locked her bike by the gate, then strolled down the front path, past fountains and cherry blossom trees that were well past their flowering phase. She stopped once she reached the door, hesitated, then gave it two quick knocks.

Kokoro appeared immediately. How did she get there so fast? “Oh, hey, uh…” A tangible pause. “Misaki! What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you’d be coming over!”

Misaki gritted her teeth and steeled herself, then put on her best winning smile. No, that won’t be good enough. In a bold move that surprised even herself, she crossed the threshold, then took both of Kokoro’s hands in her own.

“Let’s go to a playground, Kokoro!”

Her idea must have worked, because Kokoro looked genuinely stunned for a few moments. Her jaw was slack, and her eyes wide and focused on the girl in front of her. Then, a huge smile spread across her face. “Yes, of course! No, no, I have a better idea! Let’s go to every playground in the world!”

Misaki’s shoulders slumped, and she sighed. “That… might take a while.”

Reaching into her backpack, Misaki pulled out the can of soda. It was still cold. Pressing it into Kokoro’s hands, she smiled. She realized she hadn’t stopped clenching her teeth since Kokoro opened the door.

“...But we have time,” she added, and released Kokoro’s hands, then turned, retreating down the path.

She had only made it halfway when she saw, out of the corner of her eye, two of Kokoro’s bodyguards strapping her bike to the back of a glossy, black stretch limousine. She started down the path at a sprint before it clicked. If Kokoro’s suits were loading up her stuff, that must mean Kokoro was just going along with her adventure. The knots between her shoulder blades eased up a slight fraction, and she skidded to a halt. 

Kokoro must have passed her while she was lost in thought. By the time Misaki had stopped in her tracks, Kokoro was already climbing into the limousine. (Seriously? How fast was she?!)

“Get in!” Kokoro said, gesturing with wide sweeps. “The sun will be setting soon! If we hurry, we’ll be able to see the stars come out!”

Misaki blinked. For someone who considered Misaki an acquaintance, Kokoro sure was trusting of her. But maybe that was just in her nature. Heartbreak, loss, loneliness, anger, emptiness… these were emotions that Misaki had never seen Kokoro Tsurumaki express. Sometimes she wondered if it was all just a facade; if there was another Kokoro underneath all of the sunshine and glitter. But she didn’t think so. Kokoro, the Kokoro she knew, was so wholehearted and genuine about the whole ordeal that it would be hard to believe she was faking.

Or maybe she was just a really good actor.

“Coming,” Misaki said. She followed Kokoro into the limo and closed the door behind herself, ignoring the urge to sigh.

\--

By the time they were on playground #3, the sunset had already faded into a silver-hued dusk, and shades of deep indigo and navy were beginning to creep out over the edges of the atmosphere. Even at this hour, however, Kokoro’s energy was limitless. She spun and twirled, sliding down playground equipment headfirst and doing barefoot cartwheels in the grass. 

Misaki was tired.

She rested on one of the swings, staring down at the soda in her hands and wishing she had chosen something with a higher caffeine content. A cheap sugar buzz could only get you so far, she thought, and sipped at its contents. Kokoro had long since finished hers, and she was carrying the empty can in her backpack in lieu of a recycling bin.

A rough shove. Hands on her back, and she was down. Misaki sprawled in the dirt, face-down, before scrambling to her knees to see where the source of the attack came from. She half expected it to be a mugger or even an assassin (because she couldn’t count anything out with Kokoro around). Instead, she was face to face with Kokoro Tsurumaki, hands extended, looking confused.

“I didn’t know you were gonna fall.”

“Kokoro, what the fuck?! Why did you push me?” Misaki got ready to chew Kokoro out, but realized in the back of her mind that there must have been a reason for it.

Kokoro brought her finger to her lower lip. “You were just sitting there, so I thought you wanted a push!”

Despite being angry, bruised and covered in soda and dirt, Misaki couldn’t help but laugh. Of course that was Kokoro’s reasoning. Kokoro was just on a different frequency than her; their wavelengths near indecipherable to each other. And that’s when Misaki remembered why she was at this playground in the first place.

Misaki paused. She collected her jumbled thoughts. “Yeah, you can push me,” she said, finally. “Just… please, ask first.”

“Okay!” Kokoro said, as cheerful as ever. Misaki stood and brushed herself off as best she could, then seated herself on the swing once more.

There was silence between the two of them. Misaki gripped the swing’s chains, and Kokoro gave her a gentle push, enough to set the swing in motion.

Kokoro spoke. “You really are scary when you’re angry.”

“Don’t do things that make me angry, then.” Misaki spoke in a blunt tone, not attempting to hold it back this time. 

Another push, and Misaki’s swing was flying higher and higher. She hadn’t been on a swing since she was a little kid, much less while somebody pushed her. To be honest, it wasn’t something she thought she’d experience again. But here she was, grazing the darkening sky with the soles of her feet, then feeling the drop in her stomach as she swung backwards. She felt out of her element, like she was existing on another spatial plane, and the real Misaki Okusawa was asleep in her bed somewhere.

“Hm. I don’t wanna make you angry,” Kokoro began, then gave the swing another good shove. “But you’re always so, “grr,” and “harumph” all the time. I can never tell what you’re thinking!”

“Maybe just ask?” Misaki suggested. Her anger was beginning to drain. She couldn’t exactly stay angry in a ridiculous situation like this.

“Hmm. Yeah, that’s a good idea!” Kokoro said, her tone pitching up a measure, as if she’d never thought to just ask Misaki if she should do something. 

Maybe she hadn’t, Misaki thought. She didn’t know if she’d ever fully understand Kokoro, but after tonight, their frequencies might just align a little more. She unclenched her teeth. “You can stop pushing me now, Kokoro.”

“Hm?” Kokoro stepped back, but left the swing still in motion. Misaki did her best to stop it with her feet. She nearly stumbled into the dirt again, but stayed upright.

“You should have jumped off! That’s the fun part!” Kokoro said. She twirled with her arms outstretched, weaving an unsteady path, then flopped backwards into the grass. She lay still, and Misaki stared at her for a moment before making her way over to her. 

“I’ll pass, thanks.” Misaki said. She seated herself in the grass next to Kokoro, tucking her knees into her chest. The growing darkness was getting scary, but Kokoro didn’t seem to care.

“Hey, look! We can watch the stars from here!” Kokoro said, and with an extended finger, she pointed at the sky. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

“Uh… yeah. I think we should go home,” Misaki said, her mind settling again on the the kind of muggers and assassins that would be after the daughter of the Tsurumaki family. Did Kokoro notice or care? She did always have her bodyguards with her, after all. 

“Why? We haven’t gone to every playground in the world yet!” Kokoro said, her eyes shining. Misaki smiled, although her expression looked more weary than anything else. 

“We still have time tomorrow,” she said. _Plus, I’m tired,_ she wanted to add, but she felt like Kokoro would protest more to that.

“Aw, okay.” Kokoro stood, heading to the limo, and Misaki, after a few beats of time, followed suit. They rode in silence, with Misaki trying - and failing - to stay awake.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoy this fic, please consider leaving a kudos or a comment! it's been awhile since i've written anything, so it'd be nice to hear feedback!


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